Happy 4th Birthday Chloe!!

Happy 4th birthday to our big girl Chloe!!



Dear Chloe,

Today I celebrate and honor you.  I so wish that you woke up in your own bed this morning to mommy, daddy, Olivia and Jackson greeting you but we will be there soon to hold you close and celebrate with your friends and family at Sunshine.  It's a hard day today because it's the first birthday that you are not home and mommy is a little sad.  At the same time, I could not be more proud of what you have accomplished this past year and only hope that you continue to be strong and more smiles will cross your face in the coming year.

This past year, I let go of your hand and you soared!!  It hurt so much to let go but you have made me so proud!  At home, I kept you close and overprotected you and didn't let anyone push you too hard or knock you down.  I stopped people at the door because I was afraid to let people make you do something that would make you cry or make you too tired.  There came a point though that I realized we had to let go and let you fight on your own a little more.  And you did!!  You pick your battles with your teachers and your therapists and let them know when it's too much or when you can go a little further.  Your hard work paid off and I now see you roll and hold your head stronger and steadier.  You've allowed us to put on your hearing aid here and there and found your love your music again.    You let us know how hard you try to keep your eyes together to focus on the people and environment around you, and somehow told me and daddy that surgery was the best option and you were right.  I can see your beautiful eyes a little better and notice how you light up so much more when you are interacting with people.  You've worked so hard to trust your new friends and you now share lots of smiles with them.  I love to hear from your new friends when they tell me that you smiled.  Your smile was lost for some time and you have found it again and it melts my heart each and every time.

You have grown so much this past year and look like a little girl. I still wish you were here at home with us but I know you are taken care of and very much loved.  We miss you more than we can ever express but mommy and daddy are stronger and healthier knowing that your needs are met and you are thriving.  Your sister misses you incredibly.  She asks more and more questions about you and prays for you everyday.  She doesn't understand still why the two of you need to be apart.  She said the other day "I thought Chloe and I would never be away from each other.  I wish she never got sick and be here and play and dance with me.  We would have so much fun."  I tell her that you are forever in each other's hearts but I know the two of you can't understand that just yet so I try to remind her of all the precious things you did together in your first 8 months.  She cries but loves to hear about your happier times.  Your brother knows you through our stories too.  I tell him everyday about you.  He looks just like you!!  You would be so proud of your baby brother.  He's starting to enjoy the mirror that you and I used to play in front of where you would laugh hysterically in my arms.  I can' wait for him to spend more time with you when he's a little older and stronger to come for visits.

You are forever in my heart and always on my mind Chloe!  Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  You should know though that I smile more than cry these days because I am strong like you.  I know you are safe and healthy as can be.  I don't know that I could have helped you accomplish what you have done this past year without the help and assistance that Sunshine has given you and our family.  It still makes me sad to think about what you have gone through but I am happy that we can provide you a safe place to thrive and be with friends that climb similar mountains.  I am with you always and so proud of you!

Happy Birthday big girl!! You are amazing!

Love,
Mommy