November 11- 34 days

I want to thank all of you for being such an amazing support to us during all our ups and downs. We received so many notes, emails, letters, and phone calls especially after the blog last night. It is indeed a terrible situation that we are in and I do not share my inner most thoughts to scare people or to make you upset. We simply want to share with you what we go through as we sort through our feelings and confusion. It's been too long and Chloe has been through too much.

Admittedly, last night's blog is still hard for me to even read but something stuck with me as we pulled ourselves through the day. Weakness will make you stronger and more determined. When we fall and allow ourselves to cry or scream or go numb, you can either allow yourself to surrender and give up or pull through and be strong. As much as I cried last night and was unsure of myself being a strong mama to my girls, I found myself laughing, smiling and having fun with them both as I started my day. Olivia had some mommy and daddy together time (we both took her to school today) and I immediately smiled as soon as I saw Chloe kicking her left leg into a split position as soon as I walked into the hospital room. It was going to be a good day!

It's important to find these little moments and truly grab hold because the feeling that filled my heart when I looked at my children, made yesterday's tears and heartache go away...at least for a little while. Oh my sweet girls, they amaze us everyday!

And, speaking of amazing, Chloe's G-Tube surgery was a success! We did not go down to the OR until 8:30PM. We continuously got bumped on the schedule and were even asked to consider another day. Our family has been through enough in making this decision and Chloe had not been eating since midnight last night to prepare for surgery so we were determined to make this happen. Overall, the surgery went very well, no complications. Afterwards, Chloe was awake, but fussy, when we first saw her. They administered some pain medication, and her muscles soon loosened and she fell asleep. She will have a nasogastric tube for the next 24 hours to make sure her belly is clear and will have no feeds during this time as well. The doctor needs to be sure that the tract is forming and healing, and her belly is beginning to make sounds before starting her on Pedialyte and Formula.

It was a long and scary day. I debated our decision all day, up until the very last kiss in the OR. We know we made the right decision and can now focus on her therapies as a whole.

She is a strong girl and has proved this over and over again.

We thank you for your much needed support and prayers

Much love,

Michelle, Rethier, Olivia and Chloe